Mindset coaching: how you can take your mindset from ordinary to extraordinary
I am forever talking to clients about the choices we make. The choices of how we respond vs react in moments that challenge us. The choice to go on towards the vision we seek instead of the comfortable and easy path of less resistance, the path we have already been down before
Just keep going…
Doing a 60km Ultra-marathon with a cut-off time of 6.5 hours when I had never ran over 21km in a race, sounded like a super plan. Something to absolutely test my body and build my mind up.
Something that you’d think, as a Melbourne mindset coach, I could do. And then I had to actually do it…
You can train your body but your mind wins or loses
I remember walking on the beach in Lorne the day before the race with my boy, thinking “was this going to be one of those stories that you hear, when all the training, dedication and hard work just clicks on race day and you rip the race apart? SMASH the time! Roar across the finish line, arms outstretched flying like a bird? Champagne pops!”
You can picture it too, can’t you? Well, this ain’t that.
I am really clear as to what my current level of ability and achievement is when it comes to running (at my age of 46). I have done a handful of half-marathons (21kms) over 10 years ago but nothing more than that. And it didn’t require me to do much training, I didn’t see that as an unachievable goal, I had to dedicate time and effort for months prior to achieving it.
But this was different. 60kms!!! I had to coach myself to be able to elevate my mind not to break on this one. It was the only way I’d make it.
[If you’re curious, I compiled a list of my entire training kms for 5 months leading up to the event at the bottom of this article.]
Mindset coaching is no magic recipe for winning a race, but it helps
Unfortunately, this story is not one about cracking records, lightning speed.
Instead, this story is about what I found that day near Skenes Creek, just outside of Apollo Bay that I will forever have the ability to call on: a mindset coached to prevail.
That day, my ability to shift my thinking from one of hurting, doubt and fear to one choosing to think:
“I am not quitting, not today. Get your shit together, this is possible, it is happening and the choice to give up is not an option, this is what I am here for.”
A mindset coach’s own battles with mindset says a lot
To paint a picture, I was just over 40kms into the race. I had just come running down a dirt trail called Gentle Annie Hill - stupid name if you ask me and Annie wasn’t gentle to me that day - I had never run down a dirt trail like this and certainly not after climbing up the damn thing moments just before. The trail started at sea level, climbed to about 300m above sea level over a 2km distance (fairly steep), then a U-turn and back down.
I did not expect that U-turn and it threw me for a loop!
I felt great, strong, but my knee (or specifically the tendons and muscles joining into the outside part of my left knee were trashed)(I’m not a doctor by the way, just speculating here) from about 15kms into the 60kms. They were screaming at me. The best way to describe what it felt like, is that a hammer had hit that one spot over and over again for 40km. My knee didn’t really want to bend and my quads were trembling, uncontrollably shaking. I “laughed” when I bent over to hold them at one stage.
It’s getting really hard. “C’mon… hours upon hours of mindset coaching! You can kick in at any time here.” I’m thinking to myself.
Now remember, this was a first time experience, my mind was not clear on the path forward. The duration, path and outcome were unknown.
I got to the end of the trail, looked at the marshall, she smiled and said “How was that?”
“Mutter….mutter…expletive horrible!” was my response but still, I smiled back, laughed awkwardly and kept going.
About 100m down the road, I thought I was broken. Done for the day. “I knew I should have trained more hills” flooded my mind, again and again.
The emergency ambulance that was picking people up that had to pull out drove past. I thought ”There goes that ride, easy to jump on, your knee is a great reason, go on you have an excuse.”
Another part of me was searching for a reason as to what was going on, trying to create a narrative and justify the notion of failure building in me. Much like many of the stories we tell ourselves about preparing for an important meeting, tests or anything else after an event, I was trying to find a way out.
Then something else came to me.
Why mindset matters in moments of doubts
At this instant, it kicked in. To keep going, I felt the need to shift my way of thinking. I had to get out of this current state.
You see, as part of my preparation for this race, I had consumed much Ultra runner content and that question kept coming up.
Why? Why, in that particular moment, was my mind doing that?
A coached mindset gets you back to the only thing you can control
Your “Why” for doing this thing that is challenging you in the moment is what you need to get back to.
“Why” is the reason to keep going when shit falls apart and gets really tough. It is the mentality shift required when the darkness closes in and doubt sits on your shoulder (tap, tap, tap…I’m here).
Reading a David Goggins book before the race really wasn’t going to keep me going when it was time to “get hard”.
“I don’t stop when I’m tired, I stop when I’m done.”
David Goggins
Training is great, knowledge is great but the coached mindset you have is what will ultimately make the difference - unless your body completely gives out (to be honest that is rare).
My “why” at the start of this Ultra chapter was “To dedicate effort to training and not half-arse it”.
I wanted to prove to myself that I really could be committed and focused for this type of challenge.
I was really satisfied with my training. But that wasn’t my “why” in the deepest moment of pain.
I ran a little further… Knee not bending well now. The chest infection I had caught about 2 weeks prior did not help my cause either.
Need something else.
My kids and wife, picturing their faces… that will help. I couldn’t wait to see them and enjoy that sweet, sweet smoothie I had asked for at the finish line but no.
My “why”
To prove to myself that I had the guts to keep going, that when the tough did get going I would not pack it in. It was about seeing what I could do when my body wanted to quit and my mind was very much in the same place.
It was to prove to myself that the label of failure I had placed on my chest when I quit my last corporate job was not the defining moment of me. When my mind and body had become an anxious mess, dreading the thought of what the work day would bring. Waking up every morning at 4am, stomach churning. I needed to prove “my mind won’t break”.
I had an image of my mother who passed away many years back.
She said “You always find a way” ”You always do” with her hand on my cheek.
Then I yelled… screamed… not sure what it was but it was loud…Maybe Braveheart, maybe a rooster.
About 80 metres down the road, the nearest runner stopped and looked back.
The primal scream was me finding that place that I wasn’t stopping.The mindset coach in me knew it. Failure may well be part of life and a moment in time but that was not on the cards today, not unless my knee blew up or off my leg all together.
Under 15km left.
Focus on the next 1km, get the legs going. Let’s f&%$ing go!
“I used to view pain as something to avoid, but pain is a mindset, it’s all in your head.”
Courtney Dauwalter
Is mindset coaching for you? How can you use it in your life?
Excuses surround us all of the time.
Frequently, people have their excuse list ready to go before the day's event starts… Monday morning is the day for it.
That said, as a mindset coach myself, I am a firm believer that we all have choices in our life. The longer I live the more I think that we give up or we go on.
We can choose to do something or choose to not do it and it really more often than not comes down to just that.
And more often than that, we have so much more to give in ourselves than we feel in that very moment. It is the ability to make little progress to keep us in the game that sets apart the quitter and the doer. Mindset coaching is not about focusing on the end destination, it is about focusing on the thing you can achieve right now to keep going, to find a win.
So the next time you are in the heat of the battle - whatever that could be for you - and you feel like it’s time to give up… it’s not! It’s time to shift your way of thinking and your attention to something else. Say:
“I am growing in this pain and discomfort.”
“This will have an end.”
“This challenge is why I am here…life is about overcoming.”
“This is where I learn, this is where the better me begins.”
You must have a clear “why”. The thing that you’re working towards.
But more importantly, you have to find solace in this moment that is challenging you e.g. “This is what I am enjoying along the way”.
“We are all capable of so much more than we allow ourselves to be. So let’s hit reset. Let’s begin a new process of stepping into that person we always wanted, and deserve, to be.”
Rich Roll
What happens when you don’t achieve what you train your mind to do?
In the end, I didn’t even get to run the 60kms.
I ran from Lorne to Apollo Bay, alright! I ran up Gentle Annie’s Hill (damn you Annie!) but missed a turn off earlier in the run, so when I crossed the line I was 10km short.
I really didn’t have a clue what had gone wrong until about 2kms before Apollo Bay, when another runner told me that the town in front of us was indeed Apollo Bay and I had missed a turnout.
Fark!
Failure again!!!
But had I?
Had I really failed?
I often talk to my clients about shifting their mentality and enjoying the process along the way. Falling in love with each and every step of what you are working on is true growth mindset stuff!
So a mindset coach has to know when to take his own advice!
I thought about my “why” I had stated at the start: To dedicate effort to training and not half-arse it.
And for this, I was fulfilled and satisfied.
I learnt so much that day:
Being calm and focused with my family before the run, when the nerves were there. Doing what I needed to do with them.
Nutrition, hydration, race day strategy.
I discovered much about:
My body.
My mind… the strength of my inner thoughts.
Those missed 10km could not define my success, it was but a portion of the story.
The rest was something to savour and enjoy. You need to be able to appreciate the commitment made and results achieved and use all this for fuel for what comes next.
Another race? Another challenge? Life in general? Who knows… the only thing I know at this point is that I’m not done.
Are you? Find your why.
Training schedule from 24 December 2021 to 15 May 2022
If you are on Strava, I’d love to connect and follow your running journey. Find my profile here.
30km
10.5km
10km
4km
13km
34km
4km
4.5km
40km
3.5km
8km
14km
7km
4km
10km
40 km
9km
8km
20km
17km
10km
18km
8km
4km
45km
6km
6km
7.5km
4km
9km
20km
10km
15km
26.5km
42km
6.5km
10.5km
19km
4.5km
10km
6km
20.5km
8km
30km
5.5km
25km
6km
5km
11km
41km
5km
8km
22km
10km
40km
9km
20.5km
5.5km
14.5km
22km
8km
10km
5km
50km
