The reasons why self esteem fluctuates and how to build it up
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You can build up anything, even self-esteem
Over the last few years, there have been many reasons the view we have of ourselves could have taken a hit. Uncertainty, distance from our community and the extended opportunity, for some of us, to be alone with our thoughts due to being separated from the world during extended isolation periods...
The truth is, self esteem fluctuates so it’s no wonder that for many, it presents a huge challenge.
This edition of TBS gives you 7 actions to focus on in order to build up the most important person in the world. YOU!
Define the challenge you’re facing
Let’s start with being clear on what we are talking about! We can define self-esteem as ‘the confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect’.
Notice the key here, it’s your confidence in things related to you.
No, it’s not ‘the confidence others have in your abilities’.
Even though self esteem fluctuates, those 7 concepts related to self-esteem are universally represented, according to the work by Glenn Shiraldi.
They have to do with:
Identity
Appreciation
Acceptance
Self-confidence
Pride
Humility
Selfish-ness
So if you feel like your self-esteem is low, reflect and ask yourself which area might be driving this?
B is for Behaviour(s)
So if self esteem fluctuates, that means that it can be built up (as much as it can be pulled down). Understanding where it comes from, for you, will help take the right action.
What can cause you to have low self-esteem?
Bullying
Guilt associated with religious, family or social expectations
Being in toxic relationships or seeing toxic relationships such as parents
Disapproval from people perceived to be in the inner circle of importance
Failing to achieve a certain goal and then using that example generally across life
What do you tend to do if you have low self-esteem?
Being critical and negative about yourself
Focusing only or mostly on your negative times and ignoring the good stuff
Thinking others are superior
Believe you don’t deserve what others have
Always blaming yourself when things go wrong
So what to do, if this is you.
S is for Strategies
If your self-esteem needs a boost then try these 7 focus areas over the next 6 weeks to turn things around. Don’t try and do everything at once and overwhelm yourself, this needs to be built over time!
When your self esteem fluctuates downwards, it’s time to built it up
Monitor your negative self-talk. When you fall into ‘pulling yourself down’ mode, focus on switching to building yourself up!
Create time each day to highlight the great stuff you did and the stuff that makes you great.
Check for environmental watchouts. Are there people or places that don't support healthy levels of self-esteem in your entourage? Surround yourself with people that bring out the best of you and want to see your best version succeed.
Switch up your perspective from “I am less than…” to “I am building for more…”
Don't shy away from the difficult challenges in life. Learn what you must from them.
In fact, acknowledge that no one is perfect and failure is just part of life.
Lastly,
Channel your inner athlete and get that body moving, feel good about activity. Your body and mind crave it and the sense of progress will certainly help!
There you have it. Don’t forget that self esteem fluctuates (yes) but ultimately, your self-esteem is in your hands!
Often, our perspective and self-talk can make a huge difference. Don’t give outside forces the power to impact your precious self-esteem.
Someone else said about this
“Nothing can bring you peace, but yourself.”
— Emerson
If you need further help with building up your self-esteem or negative self-talk that impacts the way you think about yourself or live your life every day, book a FREE chat with me - no pressure, no commitment.
You might be interested in reading about the conversation in our minds. Or listen to this podcast about Self-esteem, values and healing steps.
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