Are you flirting with the idea of change?
You keep thinking about it. Dreaming about it. You picture how it would feel if you actually followed through.
But when it comes to action, nothing changes.
You’re stuck in the cycle of flirting with change—dancing around the idea of transformation, toying with the thought of a different future, but never fully committing.
This happens far more often than people admit.
You drive past the gym, imagining what it would be like to be fitter, but never walk through the doors.
You consume self-help content—books, podcasts, blogs—feeling a brief rush of inspiration, but take zero real action.
You set ambitious goals, only to watch them fade away when the initial motivation disappears.
If you’ve been stuck in this pattern, ask yourself: Are you really working towards change, or are you just entertaining the idea of it?
Why Change Doesn’t Stick
Most people know what they should do:
They know what habits they need to build.
They know what they need to stop doing.
They even know what their goals are.
So why does change fail so often?
From years of coaching people through transformation, one truth stands out: People get attached to the outcome, but not the process. They love the idea of achieving something, but they aren’t committed to the work required to get there.
[If this sounds like you, read Why you must learn to change your thinking to reframe your mindset.]
This is where real, lasting transformation happens—not in a single moment of decision, but in the qualities, values, and beliefs you choose to live by every day.
The Identity Shift: Stop Being a Tourist in Your Own Growth
Flirting with change means you’re still attached to your old identity.
You see yourself as someone trying to get fit instead of someone who prioritises movement.
You see yourself as someone who wants to change instead of someone who is disciplined and committed.
This is the missing piece most people overlook:
If you don’t shift your identity, no amount of goal-setting will work.
Change isn’t about forcing yourself to hit a target. It’s about becoming the kind of person who naturally follows through.
Instead of aiming for a "fit body," commit to being the kind of person who moves daily, no matter what.
Instead of chasing an "ideal version" of yourself, commit to being the kind of person who shows up, even when it’s inconvenient.
Your actions must align with the person you want to be—not the version of you that keeps hesitating.
Why SMART Goals Aren’t Enough
Goals are useful, but they aren’t enough. In coaching, I talk about SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, Time-bound) because they provide structure.
But here’s the truth: most people don’t fail because of bad goals. They fail because they haven’t built the mindset to sustain them.
You don’t need just a goal. You need a daily system of habits that keep you moving forward even when motivation is gone—start stacking small, consistent actions that build momentum. This is what I call Mindset Snacking—small, powerful habit changes that actually stick.
The Science of Lasting Motivation
We know from psychology that dopamine drives behaviour—but most people attach dopamine to external rewards.
Hitting a number on the scale
Getting validation from others
Finishing a milestone
The problem? These external motivators fade. Instead, your progress should be the reward.
Feel good about the fact that you showed up today, not just about a number on a tracker.
Train your brain to see forward motion as fuel, not a struggle.
If you attach success to who you are becoming rather than just the final outcome, you won’t need external motivation.
You’ll already be committed.
You Are Not the Outdated Version of Yourself
One of the biggest killers of progress is the old story you tell yourself.
“I’ve never been able to stick with things.”
“This is just who I am.”
“Maybe I’m not meant to change.”
These are lies you’ve rehearsed. In reality, you are always evolving.
But when faced with stress, uncertainty, or discomfort, your brain defaults to old habits because that’s how it’s wired. To understand why you keep falling into old patterns, check out Understanding Human Behaviour and how these cycles form.
It runs the easiest mental program—the one you’ve repeated for years. This is why most people fail when things get hard.
They revert back to what’s familiar, even when that familiarity is the very thing keeping them stuck.
How to Make Change Stick (Even When It’s Hard)
🚨 HOT TIP: if you want to make lasting changes, you need to experience stress, uncertainty, and challenge—and still stick with your new habits.
Why? Because that’s when your brain learns that the new behaviour is who you are now.
If you stick with your routine on a stressful day, it becomes automatic.
If you push through uncertainty, your new identity solidifies.
If you take action even when it’s inconvenient, you stop needing motivation.
That’s how you win.
DON’T be a flirt. Commit!
At the end of the day, this isn’t about a goal. It’s about the type of person you want to be for the rest of your life.
You can keep flirting with change—or you can finally commit. What’s it going to be?
If you’re ready to stop hesitating and start taking real action, book a free 30-minute call with me today. This is the moment you decide to go all in.
