Can you life coach yourself? Why AI & self-coaching don’t work
It’s tempting to believe that you can coach yourself. You read the books, listen to the podcasts, follow the self-help gurus online, and think, I’ve got this. But here’s the truth: if coaching yourself worked, you’d already be where you want to be.
Now, with the rise of AI, some people are starting to believe a chatbot can replace a human coach. Even big names like Tony Robbins are jumping on the trend, selling AI-powered "life coaches" that claim to offer personalised strategies 24/7.
But just like self-coaching, AI coaching is not the answer. Here’s why.
Why You Can’t Coach Yourself
You are too close to your own problems.
A life coach’s role is to see what you can’t—to ask the tough questions that challenge your perspective, uncover blind spots, and help you navigate roadblocks you might not even realise exist. Here’s what a real coach provides that you simply can’t give yourself:
Objectivity You Don’t Have
Your brain is wired with biases. You naturally avoid discomfort, justify your decisions, and lean into confirmation bias—seeking out information that supports what you already believe. A coach sees beyond your excuses. They hold up a mirror to your patterns, helping you break cycles you don’t even realise you’re stuck in.
Accountability That Pushes You Further
You set goals, but when no one is watching, it’s easy to negotiate with yourself:
"I’ll start next week."
"I’m too tired today."
"Maybe this isn’t the right time."A coach doesn’t let you off the hook. They keep you committed, even when motivation fades.
The Power of Guided Reflection
Ever had a breakthrough moment in conversation—something someone said that suddenly made everything click? That’s because external perspectives create clarity you can’t get alone. A coach follows the golden threads in your thoughts, helping you connect dots you’d never link by yourself.
Why AI Can’t Replace a Real Coach
Tony Robbins recently launched an AI-powered “life coach” for $1. The pitch? A digital coach that never sleeps, always has advice, and guides you through breakthroughs.
Sounds great in theory. In reality? It’s a gimmick. Tony knows better—he built his career on human connection. It’s why he still does live events, why people pay hundreds of thousands for real 1:1 coaching. Here’s why AI will never replace a human coach:
AI Lacks True Emotional Intelligence
AI can analyse patterns, summarise advice, and mimic human responses—but it doesn’t truly listen. It can’t:
Read between the lines
Sense hesitation in your voice
Adjust based on your body language or tone
Offer genuine empathy
Coaching is about more than advice. It’s about connection, understanding, and knowing when to push and when to pause. AI can’t replicate that.
AI Gives Generic Advice, Not Tailored Breakthroughs
AI learns from data. But your challenges are not generic. A real coach doesn’t just throw strategies at you—they ask the right questions at the right time. They challenge your specific patterns, emotions, and experiences. An AI tool might suggest morning routines, mindset shifts, or habit tracking—but it won’t catch the deeper problem beneath the surface.
Coaching is a Two-Way Relationship, Not a Transaction
Coaching is about real human interaction. It’s about trust. When you have a breakthrough moment, a coach can feel that shift—they can pause, let it sink in, or guide you deeper. AI just moves on to the next programmed response. Real coaching isn’t just about delivering strategies. It’s about holding space for your growth in a way AI never can.
TO BECOME WHO YOU ASPIRE TO BE, YOU NEED A PLAN
Save yourself the time, the headspace, the doubts… in 6 days, you’ll know whether a life coach can help you achieve that or not. Either way, that’s progress.
Invest in Real Results, Not Quick Fixes
There’s a reason self-help books don’t change lives in isolation. It’s why AI tools won’t replace coaches. Information alone isn’t enough—transformation requires action, accountability, and real connection.
Over 20 years coaching hundreds of people in numerous industries to be the best version of themselves and achieve amazing goals and business results, I have gained remarkable insight into what drives people and what holds them back.
So when experts talk about the fact that it takes 10,000 hours to be an expert in something. I have that covered and then some.
Just imagine:
How many conversations about making improvement I have had,
How many development meetings I have sat in,
How many “we need to shift your mindset from “Can’t” to “Can”
COUNTLESS!
Before Tony Robbins created his AI Coach, he worked on his craft for over 40 years, charges $1,000,000 per session and has a 18 month waiting list. He works with CEOs, athletes, all kinds of high achievers and they work with a coach because they know outside help is essential to change.
“The distance between your reality and dreams is called ACTIONS.” - Luke Fenwick
What about elite athletes?
During my time at Melbourne United the Basketball Club, I often listened in on what made the best athletes incredible. I also observed how the coaches instilled the right habits to win championships. What the leaders on the court needed to do in crunch time to win championships.
Speaking on powerful habits. Do you know how they form?
I do! And I understand how to ensure you keep coming back to do them time and time again.
So if you stuck around until this bit of the article, you might now understand that no, you most likely can’t life coach yourself, and nor can ChatGPT or some other AI coach trained version. At least, not to the level you would want but the real question here is, do you need a coach?
If you’re serious about change, ask yourself:
❌ Do I want generic strategies or a tailored breakthrough?
❌ Do I want a chatbot repeating advice, or a coach challenging me to grow?
❌ Is my life worth investing in real results, or am I looking for the cheapest option?
You already know the answer.
If you’re ready for a real coach with real results, book a free 30-minute exploratory call today.
OR…
if you are determined (after all this) to life coach yourself - on your own or with AI - do so! But accept the risk of maybe never getting to the results you wish for.
Good luck, you’re gonna need it.
