Why you must learn to change your thinking (and how)
13min
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Fact: what we believe is happening has a direct impact on our view of the situation.
Another fact: what we think is happening in a situation has a direct impact on our feelings in that setting.
Change your thinking to experience life in a very different way.
Change your thinking to change your ability in life.
You must learn to change your thinking because you can never change something that has happened, but you can change how you look at it from that moment on. Giving yourself the opportunity to do something else in the future.
You can’t change who you were in the past but being able to change your thinking and habits over time will lead you to a different you and different results in the future.
It’s easy to change your thinking, right?
Wrong. It’s not that simple but it is easier than you think.
We all have the ability via neuroplasticity to evolve our brain through experience and learning when new pathways are formed, this continues all through life until our brain is formed in our 20s. It’s how we develop what we do from the toddler stage to adulthood and beyond.
Intense focus followed by rest is where the magic happens
Often, you might struggle to change your thinking because of old beliefs, family expectations, cultural impact and the story you have built in general over many many years but it is possible. The world is full of stories where people have overcome huge challenges, overcome horror and tragedy when their mind focused on the opportunity to change their thinking and not be a victim. For example, Viktor Frankl, an Austrian neurologist and psychologist, author of Man's search for meaning who developed “Logotherapy”, through personal experience in a Nazi concentration camp wrote.
“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.” - Victor Frankl
S is for Strategies
Having a number of tools to help you succeed in changing your thinking is vital, something that works for one of my clients is not guaranteed to work for all clients so options as a life coach is what I look to have.
Practise S.T.O.P. mindfulness
STOP which is an acronym that stands for:
S — Stop;
T — Take a breath;
O — Observe the body, thoughts, feelings, emotions, and physical sensations; and
P — Proceed with more awareness.
Why does this help?
It mostly occurs during the last two parts Observe and Proceed, it’s right here where you have the ability to notice your thoughts and shift away from the thinking that might hold you back, which is where you proceed. Being able to change your thinking over time will be rooted in being able to observe the thoughts without actioning them and shifting the thinking.
How can you change your thinking?
Noticing your thoughts is a start.
What are you thinking and feeling?
What is the purpose of those feelings?
Outside of that, you can also.
Improve your community
We cannot choose our family but we can choose our friends and who we spend time with. Surround yourself with people who help lift your thinking, who help you have a positive perspective, and help you challenge your thoughts if they are not serving you well. The right community can really turbocharge your results as you learn from others. They can also help with accountability. If you need help with accountability, a life coach or a life coaching group could be a great solution for you.
2. Notice the good stuff
We all have something to be thankful for and spending time to have gratitude for this and really focus on the positive elements of life will change your thinking over time. Even dedicating 2 minutes each day to focus on what you have instead of what you don’t; can shift your mind into a different gear and more importantly, allow you to embrace the real story that surrounds you.
Mood follows action
Our habits over periods of time create who we are.
That’s why habits are important when it comes to changing your thinking.
If you have unhealthy habits such as poor eating, no exercise, sitting on the couch all weekend, hating on yourself and saying “I suck” and repeat all of this for a year; then over time your thinking will reflect that of a lazy and unhealthy person that has low self-esteem and low self-worth.
You don’t need motivation, your need discipline
Healthy eating, no snacking, exercise daily, positive self talk, adventure on the weekends and repeat all of this for a year and without doubt your thinking will be that of a fit, healthy and positive person with higher levels of self-esteem and self-worth.
Use this power of habit stacking to change your thinking over the long hall, this might sound like more work but it is the path to a fulfilling life.
It takes energy and determination at the start to form your habits but once they have a rhythm, it becomes much easier and part of you.
Other powerful tools for the mind
Meditation, if your mind can be erratic or overwhelmed easily, then a meditation practice can be something to look at. Studies suggest the magic begins after 8 min, so don’t convince yourself that you don’t have time, change your thinking and view of this art which has been around for thousands of years as something beneficial.
All those Yogis can’t be wrong… right?
Final thoughts from me
It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of “my life sucks” and it’s easy to say “well, this is it” but it doesn’t have to be that way. You can change your circumstances and make changes in your life and whilst making those changes, you can change your thinking.
One simply cannot make change in life, achieve different outcomes and improve by thinking and acting the same way… it will not and does not happen.
You need to change your thinking and only then will you have the chance to:
Be a better you;
Move past what holds you back;
Stop repeating the same mistakes; and
Live the life you seek.
Nobody gives you happiness, you cannot buy it at the store as objects don’t provide it. Happiness and joy are a choice, such as heaviness and sadness. With that understanding, you have agency about how you view things, how you think about them.
You might feel sadness in the moment because of failure or not achieving your expectations but it’s your choice to hold onto the emotions and replay them over-time.
You can quickly move past this by changing your thinking, look at the event differently, look at the opportunity in the future differently.
Over the next day or two, ask yourself:
what do I need to let go of, what do I need to stop ruminating on?
what things in my life can I take a different view on, a higher way of thinking?
if I change my thinking on just 1 or 2 things right now, will my life be better? Will I be happier?
It’s easy to focus on the negatives. It’s natural, it’s human.
In a conversation with a client this week, he mentioned he wanted to do some work for the Make a wish foundation, we got talking about the young kids, some with only months or weeks to live. He reminded me that we often get caught up focusing on trivial stuff… which we do.
Maybe it’s a reminder that life is too short to get caught up on insignificant stuff. It may be the only motivation you need to change your thinking about your own life.
After all, we only have one go at it! I’ll leave you with a quote…
SOMEONE ELSE SAID ABOUT THIS
“Change your thinking. Change your life! Your thoughts create your reality. Practise positive thinking. Act the way you want to be, and soon you will be the way you act.”
— Les Brown
If you need help with getting things moving forward and changing your thinking to get there, book a free 30 min chat with me - no pressure, no commitment.
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