The trust building method
5min
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Building trust in yourself so you have faith when times get tough that you won’t fall apart is critical for when life throws challenges our way.
Why is building trust in yourself so important?
Or more specifically, why is it so important to introduce the trust building method within our lives?
The way we view ourselves in the world directly impacts our confidence. The more you use the trust building method, the more you will be confident and ready to go all out when challenges arise.
Conversely to that, the more we walk away from challenges, the more we give into fear, the more we just give up, the more and more trust is eroded in ourselves until the day where a challenge arises; and deep down inside we truly believe that we can’t achieve what needs to happen, because we just don’t have the trust.
Picture a piggy bank. On the side of it is written “trust in yourself”.
Each time you do something that is difficult or that is a challenge, you put money in. Each time you do something that is aligned to your values, money goes in, the more you do things that build trust, the fuller and fuller it gets. Resulting in the more you believe in yourself! However each time you give in, each time you stop when you know you should go forward a coin falls out from underneath…
You always want to be putting more coins in, not taking them out with frequency. Think about compounding interest over the years, this is exactly that with the most valuable commodity of all, building trust in you!
“Confidence is the most beautiful thing you can possess.” – Sabrina Carpenter
What not to do, to build trust in yourself?
There are a number of big names in the self-help industry that do amazing work but a few of them talk about standing in front of the mirror and talking to yourself… Standing in front of the mirror and saying you are worthy, you are capable, you are a human who has so much to give is a beautiful thing.
BUT
Standing in front of the mirror and trying to convince yourself that you have done something that you have not is setting yourself up for failure.
The trust building method is more practical than that.
Our mind knows when we BS to ourselves so it’s important to be able to see where the lines cross and value disappears.
Picture what you want to become.
Picture you doing amazing things.
Picture you crossing that finish line.
But always be honest with yourself, as (deep down) you know the true story.
This is crucial in life as the reality always comes back in our biggest moments.
S is for Strategies
The trust building method: a step-by-step plan to trust yourself again
At this point, you have a good picture in your mind of how important trusting yourself is. You have a picture of a piggy bank, overflowing with coins… happy little piggy.
Now, get working. For the trust building method to work, follow these 9 steps:
Define your goal or objective. The difficult task.
Understand the skills you don’t have right now to get there.
Understand why this matters, connect with who you are becoming, what life will be like.
Create the plan with milestones to obtain those skills, what, how, who helps and by when. This will include tackling versions of the difficult task, to stress test what you have learnt.
Begin with the plan.
Celebrate at each milestone.
Check in on progress of development.
As you develop and grow, your trust will build in your capability to succeed, your capability in doing something you couldn’t do before.
Don’t shy away from the opportunities to do other hard things. This is an opportunity to further the trust building method.
Building trust in ourselves does not have to come from perfection.
To be honest, trying to be perfect to build trust will probably lead to other challenges about procrastination and the need for perfection in general.
Remember the piggy bank before it became “the trust building” piggy bank? There will be times where money comes out, life isn’t perfect, we aren’t robots, we make mistakes. But each mistake offers a lesson to learn and as soon as you learn that lesson and progress from it, the money goes back in.
So be good, be frequent and watch the trust coins stack up. Don’t worry about perfection as this may result in only small amounts of coins achieved over the same period of time!
“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” – Peter T. McIntyre
A life coach’s take on building trust in yourself
There is no shortcut or book you can read that will enable you to build trust in yourself without taking any further action.
You cannot manifest trust in yourself.
You cannot buy trust in yourself.
You cannot ask a friend to instil this in you.
You have to build trust in yourself, there simply is no other way.
Over the next day, think about where you really want to build that trust. Where are the moments in life that needs to be non-negotiable.
Then apply the plan above to begin making changes. Don’t be rigid, don’t be ignorant… lean into the truth and just BEGIN.
Next time, I am out running up a long steep hill with my lungs and legs burning, I will be thinking about the trust in myself. I am building that for the first 50kms of my next 100 km run as I climb thousands of metres of mountain to get to the top.
I will be thinking about all of you, doing your own thing, using the trust building plan to build trust in yourself.
It’s time. Your time to do great things and achieve all you can.
But first you must have trust in you!
SOMEONE ELSE SAID ABOUT THIS
“Trust yourself so that the mistakes you make are the ones you've made and not something you've made because you were afraid to do what you wanted to do. Own your mistakes, then you can own your successes.”
— Jennifer Lynch
See over 50 client 5-star Google reviews so you know and trust that I can make changes in your life too.
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