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Biologically, a meltdown represents a profound physiological and psychological response to overwhelming stressors, characterised by a flood of hormonal changes, heightened emotional arousal, and impaired cognitive function.

What is an adult meltdown?

Short answer is, it is when the best and most logical version of you is gone and something else is running the show, which is emotions and chemicals.

Here's a breakdown of what happens inside us from a biological perspective, this is important to understand because it’s not just one thing, it’s a chain of events, sequel after sequel:

1. Activation of the Stress Response

When we encounter a stressful situation, our bodies initiate the "fight, freeze or flight" response, a primal survival mechanism designed to prepare us in the face of perceived threats. The hypothalamus, a region of the brain, signals the release of stress hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline, from the adrenal glands.

2. Increased Heart Rate and Blood Pressure

Adrenaline triggers the heart to beat faster and the blood vessels to constrict, leading to an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. This response helps to deliver oxygen and nutrients to the muscles and vital organs, preparing the body for action.

3. Heightened Emotional Response

The amygdala, another region of the brain involved in processing emotions, becomes highly activated during times of stress. This heightened activity can amplify emotional responses, leading to feelings of anxiety, fear, or anger.

4. Suppression of Non-Essential Functions

In order to prioritise resources for dealing with the immediate threat, the body temporarily suppresses non-essential functions such as digestion, immune function, and reproductive processes. This can lead to symptoms such as digestive discomfort, weakened immune response, and decreased libido.

5. Impaired Decision-Making and Cognitive Function

Prolonged stress can impair higher cognitive functions, such as decision-making, problem-solving, and memory. The prefrontal cortex, the brain's executive control center responsible for these functions, may become less active during times of stress, making it difficult to think clearly and rationally.

So now you know what’s happening within your body.

How does it show up in reality?

Picture this: you're juggling the demands of work, family, and personal aspirations, trying to stay present in this distracted world, navigating the needs and wants of others around you and trying to squeeze in 15 minutes for your own personal self-care.

No matter how hard you try, that 15 minutes never seems to eventuate, you never share your frustrations, you never try to forge a plan for progress, nothing changes and BAM, meltdown!

Blood boils, the world around you vanishes, maybe voices are raised, maybe frustrated gestures are made or you simply exit stage right and brood alone.

So what can you do? How can you move away from these meltdowns over a period of time?

Popular American author and professor, Adam Grant, explains it beautifully in one of his posts.

5 purposeful habits to help navigate through an adult meltdown

1. Practice mindfulness and deep breathing

When you feel yourself on the brink of a meltdown, take a moment to pause and centre yourself through mindfulness techniques. Focus on your breath, inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth. 

Use the S.T.O.P process:

• Stop

• Take a breath

• Observe

• Proceed with the aligned/purposeful behaviour

2. Set boundaries and prioritise self-care

Learn to recognise your limits and set boundaries to protect your wellbeing. Prioritise self-care activities that replenish your energy and reduce stress, whether it's taking a relaxing bath, going for a walk in nature, or indulging in a hobby you enjoy. Remember that self-care is not selfish—it's essential for maintaining balance and resilience in the face of life's challenges.

3. Reach out for support

Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or find a coach for support during difficult times. Sharing your feelings and experiences with trusted individuals can provide emotional validation and perspective, helping you feel less isolated and overwhelmed. Remember, it's okay to ask for help when you need it—it's a sign of strength, not weakness.

4. Practice emotional regulation techniques

Explore techniques like Mindset Snacking for regulating your emotions and managing stress in healthy ways. This may include journaling to express your thoughts and feelings, practicing relaxation exercises like progressive muscle relaxation, or engaging in activities that bring you joy and comfort. By developing a toolbox of coping strategies, you'll be better equipped to navigate through moments of emotional turmoil.

5. Reflect and learn from the experience

After the storm has passed, take some time to reflect on the experience and identify any patterns or triggers that contributed to the meltdown, write in your journal as much rich information as you can. 

Use this opportunity for self-reflection and growth, exploring ways to build resilience and prevent future meltdowns. Remember that setbacks are a natural part of the journey, there’s no room for regret and each experience offers valuable lessons for personal development.

You might be sitting here thinking this is great but I need more, my life is hectic, a lot of people are always coming at me and I just don’t want to keep reacting this way, I need to make a change.

Well try asking yourself these…

13 Reflective questions

explore the root causes and recovery solutions from an adult meltdown

1. What specific event or situation triggered my meltdown?

2. How have I been feeling leading up to this meltdown? Have there been any recurring patterns or stressors in my life?

3. What emotions am I experiencing right now? 

4. Are there any underlying feelings or beliefs driving my emotions?

5. Have I been taking care of my physical and emotional well-being recently?

6. Are others respecting my self-care routine?

7. Are there any unmet needs or expectations that may be contributing to my distress?

8. How have I been managing stress and overwhelm lately? 

9. Have I been prioritising activities that support my mental health?

10. Do I have a support system in place to help me navigate through challenging times? 

11. What coping mechanisms or strategies have I used in the past to deal with similar situations?

12. Are there any techniques that have been effective for me that I've stopped using?

13. Are there any changes I can make in my environment or routine to reduce stress and prevent future meltdowns?

You can also use the “Plutchik’s Wheel” to gain deeper clarity on your emotions.

There you have it, the adult meltdown: the what, why, how and a number of questions to explore.

But I got more for you, because you’ve read this far.

One of the best things I have ever heard is that the emotion and the response doesn’t need to define who you are. We all have bad days, we all get frustrated, we all do and say things we wish to take back.

However, this cannot be used forever as a get out of jail free card. What’s really important now is to understand that it’s not about suppressing emotions and pushing them away.

It’s time to manage emotions, understand what’s going on and make changes to not repeat the same habits time and time again. Think about it like this:

• If you were being filmed would you behave this way? 

• Would your reaction go on as long?

Probably not, so there is a chance to make change but it starts with YOU and your why.

Maybe you need to practice radical acceptance by fully acknowledging and embracing reality as it is. This new mindset shift can help reduce suffering and promote inner peace.

We can’t change the past, we can’t change the present moment. But you can learn to accept this and then proceed with purposeful actions that are aligned with the best version of you.

If you’re ready to move beyond the stress and start making purposeful changes, book a free 30-minute exploratory call with me today. Together, we can create strategies to help you better manage emotions and live with clarity, confidence, and control.