‘The Secret’ what the movie left out? (E02)

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TWO DADS A coaching conversation about life - Episode 02

'The Secret' what the movie left out?

Hello, everyone, thanks for joining us for Episode Two a secret what the movie left out, ask, believe receive the three step process of the secret time and time again in the movie they mentioned it's easy to get what you want, which is the command of the universe. In today's episode, Sean and I discuss why this phenomenon resonated with so many and little tweaks that can deliver you what the law of attraction what you think you become, and you attract thoughts become things. But isn't that easy? Well, let's get to the show and find out.

Well, welcome back, Sean.

How's life? How's the family? What's news? Talk to me?

Ah, no, things are good. Actually, I'd, you know, in hindsight, I'm grateful. Like, after I don't get sick often. But man, it was a rough week, I had to go and get a COVID test. I felt that down, thankfully, negative. But you know, got to go through that process and see, you know, what everybody's doing every day. And then the testing sites and everything and, you know, a little bit more respect for everybody doing that work. But yeah, when you when you can't eat for a week, but you're hungry the entire week. You know, it's it's a challenge to be at your best. So once, I'm so rarely sick. But once I get past it, it's just like, Oh, I am so grateful. And I am going to achieve so much more. So you know, maybe I need to get sick at least once a year to you know, bounce back even stronger. But yeah, how about you, I saw you were out with a family on the weekend look like you're doing some family activities. what's what's new? Yeah, we were fortunate enough here in Melbourne, we actually had just came out of a lockdown in the middle of last week. And then we weren't sure whether or not we'd have the opportunity to do too much. But myself, my wife, my some other friends. Without my little boy, here he was home with the babysitter went to a French festival. So we went to this big outdoor festival, it was all socially distancing, they had little circles painted on the ground, you had to wear a mask if you went over to an area and got some food or a drink and things like that. So it was a nice little break of what's been a challenging 12 months for us here as well as everybody around the world and spend some time with my boy on Friday, we went to this big, amazing outdoor Park and he was climbing up things and sliding down stuff. And, and it was a it was a great couple of days. And then you know back into it this week. But But today where we're talking about the secret, so we watch the show in advance of us sitting down. What was your action? What did you take out of the show? Talk to me

The secret? Well, you know, we kind of chose this topic, because we've had conversations in the past about, you know, how, if you don't dig into the law of attraction, if you just take it at face value, it can be deceiving, right? It can, it can leave people wanting more, and leaving people very discouraged if it doesn't work as fast as they would like it to work. Right. So, you know, we have this idea of like, what did the secret leave out, you know, and what I what I get when I watched the secret and watching it again, I read it, I think a year or two after it was published in 2006, or whatever it might be, then it came across my path again, you know, in the early 2010s, or something like that, and then I just let it go, right. But the reality is nothing stuck. The first couple times that I read it, you know that i was i was motivated for a little bit, right, I was pumped for a little bit. But at that time in my life, I didn't really have too many people in my life that I could bounce these ideas off of right I and I didn't really get from the book or from the movie, this is what you should be doing next to you know, maintain, develop and build these habits. So there is some value in it. Like there is some value in some of the things shared. But man, it leaves out the action plan the application, you know what I mean? Like the How to, and it opens the door for discouragements if you don't understand these things, so, I mean, I kind of want to bounce it back to you a little bit as well as you know, what was the you know, is it really only thinking you know, and that, like, is it as simple as the universe will deliver. Right? Like do you believe that? Do you believe that? You know, if you you just get clear enough vision board, you know that these things on their own Luke are enough to achieve your wildest dreams?

Probably not is my answer. And I am I dug out the book. I don't know where the covers gone, but I actually had the book so I was having a look back at it. Look, the things that I really enjoyed and I certainly spoke about a lot is that it's that you can do it.

Anything and it's up to you. And, you know, you really have the ability to create the life you want. And I really enjoyed that I think the importance of a powerful routine came up, you know, time and time again. And again, I really enjoyed that.

One of the things and you kind of mentioned that there, the caveat that wasn't really into it is that your actions need to follow your intentions. And I've got one of the things here, just kind of highlight it, and it was the secret summaries. And the only thing you need to do is feel good now.

Which in in big part is true, right, you do need to be in the moment, and you do need to be feeling good. And you do need to visualise these things. But it's not about just then sitting back and then expecting everything to happen on the back of it that you do then need to put into actions, your visualisation, and you talked about that board, you know, great, okay, here's the, here's the picture of the house and it was in the movie, the guy had this beautiful house, that's great. And I think I did something similar. When I read the book, I had this Blackboard in my apartment was actually painted onto a door and I wrote, you know, I want to earn this much money. And funnily enough, it was all material things. It was like money, and car and job and it was all that kind of stuff. It was certainly nothing else, you know, that went into that. But, you know, you do need to create, well, what do I do next? I'm clear in my vision, that then what follows. And I think that's the challenge. We've, from what I've read of the book, and then also seen on the movie.

Hmm, yeah. And it's, and again, this is like, you know, to make clear, this is not us just kind of sitting here and attacking the author, Rhonda Byrne and saying that, you know, there's, there's, she's not on to anything here, right? Like, there's a reason that if you go on YouTube, there's channel after channel dedicated to manifestation. There's a reason that if you search in Instagram search feeds, you're gonna have page after page dedicated to, you know, manifesting and law of attraction, right. And it's, it's elements of it, I actually use when I work with clients, right, like, you know, like, one of the tools I'll use when I work with clients, and this is kind of coming out of the Napoleon Hill kind of school of thought as well, who wrote thinking Grow Rich, but you know, autosuggestion, activating the reticular activating system, right, which is just basically that thing in your mind, that if you kind of get like really focused on something, and you know, really get locked in on that thing, you start seeing it more of it in your life, right, you start becoming more aware of that thing, right? So there's, there is something to again, what they're talking about, but then I almost feel here's what I think, Luke and tell me what you think I I feel like they should go back and make a prerequisite to the secret or make a post up to the secret, right. And what I mean by this is that they then give you the Okay, the secret was popular. A lot of people got great things from it. But we know that some of you didn't, right, so we're gonna go back, double back and give you a little bit more of the how to write like the substance behind the how we achieve these things. Right. As I think back, Lisa Nichols, I've heard her speak. And it was it was a brilliant interview. And she was talking about how she was going after her dream. And she talked about how she went to the same seminar 42 times about managing money and wealth, right? So in the secret, she talks about being positive and thinking about all these things that you want, and, you know, choosing joy and bliss, that it's only you that has the choice on these things, she is correct in those things. But you know, that's where the disservice lies, because she went to the same seminar 42 times, she worked her ass off, yeah, to manifest these things into your life. Right. And that's, that's the point that I want to make, right? If anybody is watching this, and you know, is kind of sitting in a place where they're like, I haven't really achieved what I want to achieve yet. You know, neither of I am on the road to it. Right. But it's hard work. Repetition being clear on the vision, yes. But then are you willing to pound the pavement? When I've heard her actually talk about that as well, I've heard Lisa. And she says, Don't, I'm going to butcher her quote, because it was part of a long speech. But she paraphrase, he talks about, don't just sign up for the shiny stuff at the very end, like don't just do something for that end result, you need to kind of sign up for all of the bumps in the road, like all of the scratches and all the dents and all the ups and downs as you go through the process of seeking out then putting into place the things that you want to achieve. So she talks about that that very journey itself. So it isn't just about visualising on your couch and going it's here now. It is about all of the things you say so, but I would like to say when you're going through your struggles, you know, did you want wealth and comfort and you know, all the things promised

The sacred but what was going through through your mind? You know, during those times where where, you know, you had had to face challenge and had to figure out what was next and what were you going to do?

Well, I was a prime example of, you know, like, the, the secret got me curious, which, you know, there's a reason I went back to it again, and then watch the movie after reading it a second time, right? Because there was, there was something there that interested me. But at the time, when I read it, for the first time, I was still about three years, about five to six years away from, you know, no longer drinking, right, and like starting to turn my life around and get my life back on track. So there's your answer, kind of right there, right, like I read it, and you know, but I wasn't kind of ready or didn't realize that I was going to have to do these things again, and again, and create a plan and really like decide, you know, what do I like, what do I dislike about you know, the manifestation? How can I, you know, like, the Bruce Lee method, right, like, try everything, you know, keep what works, and then apply your own. You know, what I mean? Like, none of this did I know, then, and I wasn't really hanging out with the people that could, you know, give me those insights. And, yes, I wanted all of it like everything did I try? Yes, I thought about, you know, what I would love to have, and I thought I was doing the right things working hard. But you know, none of my my targets were really my own right? They were all borrowed from society, what what we're told makes you successful. And again, what was I wishing for? Things I didn't really want anyways, you know what I mean? Because I read the secret, follow their lead, thought about the cars, I wanted thought about the different things. And, you know, surprise, surprise, there's, there's no real passion behind it. And life happens, you know, things happen, you lose people, right, like bumps in the road, things don't go as planned. And you get off track if you don't have a plan, right to come back to. So yes, man, I wanted it badly. But that book, you know, and again, I am not putting all of this on a book, there was other life circumstances. So I'm not just kind of sitting here and saying that the secret failed me. No. But that's it. Right? Like 35 million copies of the book have been sold up until 2020. Do you think that all 35 million people that have read that books life has been changed? And are you know, have everything they could have ever dreamed up? While? Probably not? Probably not. And I'd highly doubt it. Because I think that's one of the reasons why I keep on going, it's more than just thinking about it. Because no doubt, there's stories, there'd be billions of stories littered all over the world of people sitting around saying, you know, I want more I visualise more, this is what I want in my life, and it never unfortunately happens for them. And I think that is the challenge is that they, they then might not have the tools in order to to go with what is next. They don't have the understanding in regards to Okay, you know, how do I maybe get out of the this, this funk that I'm in and in thinking about this this morning, before we came on the show, I was thinking to myself.

What if you actually aren't in the position to be thinking.

You know, visualising what your you want your life to be, like, there's so many people that just are in that much of a whole or in that much of a spot, or just can't see the world around them for goodness, and they don't have the ability to do the visualisation, which is, you know, step one, I don't have the ability or the understanding, or the support around them in order to say, Well, you know, what is my plan to get there? Like, how do I change my beliefs and thoughts and feelings, and all these kinds of things that we would talk about in the coaching world. So, you know, there's, there's so much that goes into it. And then I also started to reflect and go, you know, this was early 2000s. And if you think of what the world was, like, in, in early 2000s, and everything was about consumption, consume the car, you know, big house, fancy car, like all of this just glitz glam? And how do I keep up and surpass the Joneses next door? And, and, you know, maybe maybe there needs to be a 2021 version of this written, you know, with the absolutely amazing messages that are in here, but then maybe a different slant on the challenges that we face today. Because, you know, have we changed as a society compared to where we were, you know, 20 odd years ago? Absolutely. Are we people? Well, we're still people, but the same kind of things is, don't they? Like, you know, getting tripped up for the shiny things in life? When really is that what we seek or need to go back into what we spoke about in the first episode, which is, you know, happiness versus fulfillment. But we couldn't go on forever, couldn't we really, but it is like it's, yeah, well, no, I want to I want to agree with you really quick. I think that that would be a huge service.

Did you know remake the movie in more of a modern time with more of a how to write because I definitely agree with you, you know, it's funny 2006 when the movie came out was one year before the iPhone, right, so to get it to give you an idea of how much has changed, a few things have changed, right? A couple things have changed, history happens faster now, you know what I mean? So coaching was not the profession, it was then that it is now right. Self Help was not the, you know, volume in terms of currency a year industry, that it was that it is now. Right. So it's more in fashion. Now. It's more in vogue now. Right? So what would the impact of this movie made again, because there were some of the speakers that talks about inner peace, right, and you've got to build the inner vision first, before, bring it into the outer world, right. And then they started to kind of tap into the holistic principles, right, and like, making sure you're building a roadmap that is going to provide you with joy and fulfillment at the end, right. So some of them talked about that. But there's so much of the the big house, the car, the $100,000, check on the ceiling, the you know, there was a common theme, and you just pointed it out, go after money, right? Like that was that was literally and that's probably why it didn't work for me because money is not my main motivation. Wealth is not my main motivation, right? family is my main motivation, right? Friendship, connection, right? health. These all come before wealth, wealth is one of my five core values, because I want to protect my family for four generations. Right. But the irony, Lucan, you know that you know, me well enough now to know that this isn't bragging is that all the way did well, and had good salaries, and was gainfully employed, you know, even as I was, you know, hiding my alcoholism. And then after, I wasn't able to grow that money, you know, I didn't know what to do with it to kind of build it. And it wasn't until I got clear, and understood the principles that you know, should either come before or after you watch the secret to get the most out of it. Right? It wasn't until I realised, that's not the first thing that I'm chasing, you know what I mean? Like, I really don't care about how much money I have, or whether or not I get to brag about it. But it wasn't until I stopped caring about money. And opening my mind actually accepting some of it, though, to protect my family, that I started finding more ways to make it right. I learned about investing. Like, it's just I kept opening my mind to, you know, multiple revenue streams and different ways to grow money and talking to other people who knew more than I did, and learning from them. And, you know, it's all of a sudden, while not caring about it, it's not as hard as you thought to make it grow, you know?

Yeah, so I kind of went off for a bit, but your, your thought inspired me to go off on that tangent. I love it. I love it. But with that, should we move on to our next segment, but we got to we got a few quotes to cover because I always like, you know, thinking what they were thinking when they said this, you know, absolutely the quotes from the greats. Here we go, here we go. So you use the quote that you have highlighted, you know, huge respect for this man. Take the first step in faith, you don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step, Martin Luther King. So what's the power behind this statement? What does this quote mean to you? Yeah, I thought it just really fits nicely with with what we're talking about today. And you know, you can really come at it from either angle, just having this kind of visualisation pace, and then the other one about having some form of action. So when I kind of look back at it, I kind of have this, this vision of you need to have the faith within you to go that this is the path that I need to be on right now. Not the path forever. But this is the path that I need to be on right now. And I don't need to say that whole path or the whole staircase. But I just need to take this very, very first step.

And that's where I think you can make the biggest change in your life is you need to be clear on what you're trying to achieve. So the staircase, the vision, whatever you want to call it, that absolutely take that first step where people fall down, I think, you know, is that they get caught up in their own mind. And they often are trying to talk themselves out of the funk that they're in and they talk themselves into how do I change my mindset. And I don't really think it's about changing the mindset. I think it's about moving, getting up, starting to put action into place, and then seeing where that takes you. Because if your action is coming from the place of good intent with your vision in mind, then you're heading in the right direction and with that change in action your mindset will soon follow. So, you know, I really love this because I think it just encompasses everything that the book talks about, but also has a really strong glimpse about the thing that we're talking about, too, which is that that action as well took away from action.

Well, yeah, no, without action, you know that there isn't anything but you know, I kind of want to put you in the coaching hot seat for a second, you know, you're because how do you build this with a client? Right? What are your tools to, like, build this repetition with a client? Because, you know, I assume you've had a client that, you know, not all clients journeys go the same way, right. So you have to stay in a place with them for a little bit longer, right? Like, while they move on to kind of the next step, we don't all absorb at the same speed. Yeah. So you know, how do you how do you? And it's not our job to convince but like, what do you ask them? What do you how do you get them thinking and moving and, and getting them back to this place so that they can live in it long enough to make it stick? Yeah, like I always, I always talk to clients, a big thing of what I discussed with them is around the power of tiny habits. So that's, that's a huge part of my coaching philosophy is how do we create enough habits or tiny habits to get you on the path that you want to go to? And then how do you feel successful about doing these habits? How do those habits tie into what you are seeking in life? So how do you form enough of those things around what you're chasing in order to head down that path for you? So if I have clients that might be still you know, sticking into the hallway, I can't get into the habit I can't get into this moment, then you always go back to them or you know, what is it that you're seeking and why is this so important? And none of those things in you like every single coach use them, but but that's kind of the crux of it, until you can connect emotionally to the reason why you are making this change and what you're looking to do then if you can't do that, then chances are you're going to be connecting emotionally to the things from the past and that's why you keep going back to them and breaking away from where you're trying to get to in the future. So if I can't form those habits, I get them to try to connect with that to them move them forward. And that's kind of how I how I approach it. I really liked that Luke and you got me thinking to my own current situation right like I mentioned that start that I'm I'm kind of grateful I didn't used to be but like now you know, I see you getting really sick and I haven't been in a couple of years but now I see it as a blessing right because like it kind of refocused me because you know that it this this sickness will go back to you know when I first read the secret when I was you know when I was like my alcoholic journey was increasing rapidly.

You know, this situation getting sick like this if I had any kind of momentum going it would have derailed it completely right? It would have derailed it completely now I have a pretty powerful y as to you right we I have child and you have child and child two on the way but you know didn't didn't know my wife and didn't have a powerful why but you know, now because the Y is so crystal clear. I can get out of that funk really quick right? The the pity party the feel sorry for myself, though, man, like I haven't eaten I have no energy. I feel so sick. It's like, okay, now it's instead. Now what? Right So what? What are you gonna do with that now that you know that right? It's like Ray Dalio, at the very start of his book principles asks these three questions that I come back to often in life, right. And question one is, you know, what do you want? Right? Question two is what is true? And question three is, what are you gonna do about number one in light of number two? Yeah, right. So you know, it's very, very simple. But it brings you back to, again, like most things are simple. He also says in that book, everything is just another one of those, right? And what he means by that is, you can find a precedent somewhere, right? Because it's all humans dealing with humans. So once your vision is clear enough, and you don't get tripped up and lose momentum and stumble, because your vision is crystal clear. It's just so much easier to get back on track. Yeah. And I think we often make things a little bit more complex than they need to be. And that's where we often we often trip up, you know, if you can't figure out what the next big move is, then just start to make some small ones heading in the direction of what what is important to you. You know, we spoke about that before as well, a clarity is the real key for all of us, right? If you have really good clarity in regards to the life that you're trying to live, and the values that you're trying to represent and your beliefs and things like that, then you can create action on the back of it. If you don't know what job you want to have, or you don't know about your car, or these kind of other possessions, then be really clear on the kind of person that you're trying to be. Because then that can shape everything around it. And I think that's where sometimes people get caught up too. And we're getting on to another subject altogether, is they get caught on this wall. You know, what is my absolute goal right here.

Hear that I need to absolutely nail Well, if you're not sure on those things, and we all have ups and downs, you know, this is not just a linear process, be really clear on just how you want to represent yourself. Like, what does that look like? And let that take you forward. Like that's the real key. But, but I'll ask you this, you know, you've got a quote here, follow your bliss, and the universe will open doors for you, where there are only walls, and this is by Joseph Campbell.

And I absolutely love Joseph Campbell. Right. And, but, you know, this is this is just a quote, and it you know, the this on its own, again, can kind of be misleading. But I understand this now. Right. I didn't understand it when I first read it. But you know, because again, I was trying to probably overcomplicate it, right? But yes, this is the, this doesn't, to me necessarily mean, that it needs to be you're working, what you're truly passionate about, right? Some of us do get to do it, not everybody will. But it doesn't mean that you cannot make the best out of your situation, right? Like, there was there was this one study I saw once where the janitorial staff at the hospital, right? Like they were all kind of pulled about whether or not they liked their job, right? Half of them had the view that I you know, no, I don't love my job, I just come in here, I'm a migrant worker, right. But it does pay the bills. So whatever I come to work, right, but the other half added meaning to their job, right, and they said my work is necessary, so that the doctors and the nurses and everybody else can, you know, do their job in a clean environment so that people can get the the health and the care that they need. And you know, some even would do things like move paintings around so that like, you know, geriatric patients could see new paintings and kind of get inspired, because they add that that wasn't part of their job. But they added meaning to it, right. So that quote about, you know, follow your bliss is just again, you know, just realizing that I have a choice every day, to stub my toe first thing and have the rest of my day suck, right, I have that choice. And it is a choice. And that's what you know, I like when I work with people will have a conversation with someone or, you know, ask many questions is trying to get them towards that. It's like, do you realize the power of choice, and that you do get to choose? Not what happens to you, but what you do as a result of what happens to you? Right? So, you know, what if like, the my, my question then to the audience, right? The question becomes, is, what could you do with that power? Right? Like, what could you do with the ability to, you know, start to see good, right, like, choose that lens? Choose that filter? Yeah, you're right. It's it is that opportunity to have a different perspective or a different, different angle on it. So you know, if you find yourself in a position where you know, you might be, you know, feeling anxious or confused, or lost, or whatever it is, then how can you reframe that position in your mind? How can you focus on something different? How can you look at it in a different kind of way, because chances are the things that you're struggling with right now or feeling horrible about, there is many, many, many people all over the globe, that would probably, you know, kill to be in your position, because, you know, there's all these other wonderful things in your life that you just can't see right now. And that's, that's a thing that happens to us, you know, frequently, you know, we get caught up in this moment of silliness of confusion, or anger, or whatever it might be, because you have lost sight of all of these other things that are going on around you. But now I'll throw it out. I do want to say something I do want to before you move us on, do you want to say something on that because like whether you're speaking directly to me or not, that was my wake up call this last week, right? was just kind of like man, get off the pity party train, like you've repeated yourself enough about, you know, you're being stretched in every direction, and you just won't be able to work on your business. Life doesn't always go along with your plans. So what are you going to do about it? Right? What are you going to do about it? And you know, that that's just it, like it literally is like interrogative self talk is something I've come on to recently right in a in a study I found in a book that that excited me that I went to look for the study. And basically the study is the people that talk to themselves through problems. It is a indicator for high performance right? We used to think about self talk and if you talk to yourself that way, the visual I always thought it was crazy mad scientists with the crazy hair you know, like Haha, creating like an evil plan and his layer, right but, you know, think about it. questions right? Why does Tony Robbins say that like your life is going to be the same quality as the questions you ask yourself right now. I'm paraphrasing.

But that's basically the one of his quotes that I came across today in preparing for this. I almost made it my quote in this. But that's there's a lot of truth there, Ryan. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And we'll get on to the next one, which is, you know, what if our kids asked us any one of these particular questions, I'm going I got one. So your son is, you know, this is this is kind of geared towards your son. So what happens is success and achieving what you want in life thinking of it or working 19 hours a day or what? Right? So in the show, they say, how is the domain the domain of universe not your role to figure it out? Yeah. Thoughts? If your kids ever come to you and say, the universe has got this Dad, you know, not my job. I've already put the intention out there. Right. I know what I want. So we're good. Yeah, I think this was my biggest gripe with this amazing book written by these amazing minds that have sold over 30 million copies. So you know, yeah, you need to take my comments with a bit of bit of salt here. I think it is our job for the Hell, I don't think it is just about, Hey, sit here and visualize it, which we covered at the start. So I don't want to rehash, rehash it too much. But it is our job to create the how it is our job about going out there. And, you know, if you're looking to do amazing things in your life, then you need to, you need to put in the work for it, you need to have the plan, you need to find the resources, you need to find the commitment and the energy and all of these things in you. And that's all part of the house. So as much as I would say to my boy, fantastic that you are choosing to align with the universe, because we've all been there, right? Where all of a sudden, something just kind of happens to us in like, you know, Wow, that is that's just been delivered to me like that absolutely happens. I'm spiritual now. I'm a spiritual person, you know, like, Yeah, but it happens. But you know, there is this other stuff that don't, I suppose don't leave it to chance, is what I'd be saying to him, you know, absolutely do the work aligned with the universe, visualize it, put it out there. But then don't leave the rest to chance, then start to actually do all these other things to make it a reality. You know, I don't want to be personally get 30, down 30 years down the track and say, Well, you know, I wish I'd actually done something a little bit differently. I wish I'd actually put in the work or the time and the effort or whatever it is. So I think I'd kind of share the same thing with him, not for him to do the exact same thing, but at least have the perspective of you don't want to be and there's that old story, you know, hospital bed lying there, person kind of reflecting back and then the last person that you see is yourself on what could have been, you know, and that's not the life that I think that, you know, I'd be advising him to, to leave and think back of what could have been because I didn't do all the things to make it a reality. And I think that's how I Archer with him. Well, you made me think of something that Luke and that's you I'm sure you've heard the saying, but you know, greatness leaves clues. Right? Yes. You know, that's, you know, perhaps a for another episode, but it's a subject I'm very passionate about, right? We, we as human beings, we love the idea of natural talents, because it makes us feel better about ourselves. Right? We love just thinking that, you know, I'm going to use Michael Jordan, because he's the first one that came to mind. You know, I could never be Michael Jordan. Now, there's a lot of truth to that. Right. But who is to say that if I didn't start at like the age of six with a passionate devotion to being a basketball player, that, you know, I could have done a little bit more, right. It wasn't my sport. I never really played it in high school until after high school. So I don't know why I use that one. But basically, when you go back and study I mean, now the last dance is out. There's been books written about Michael Jordan, so you can go back and study his habits you can argue whether or not you like his methods or how he treated his teammates. But when you look for the clues, absolutely no one outwork this man, right. He refused to be outworked, right. If you look at the sprints, and practice, first one, every time there was nobody fitter, there was nobody working harder, right? That's the part that a lot of us don't want to acknowledge. It makes us feel better to just say natural talent. gifted, right like could never have been that right maybe maybe not to the level of MJ maybe he had a little extra in the tank when he started. But that's kind of what you're thinking when you're talking to your son is like, if you study greatness, you're going to realize they didn't only leave it to the universe Yeah, well, look that's what happens with all of society right is that we see when the show lights come on now whether or not it's sports or Instagram people or famous celebrity or people driving orange Lamborghini, you know, on social media, like we only see that stuff, the very, very end we don't see everything else leading up to it. I don't think that's kind of part of the challenge that that we have faced is we, you know, we're just not mindful of all of these steps going into it. And, you know, I've been around professional athletes, you know, worked in basketball a few years ago. So professional sports, the highest level here in, in Melbourne united, right, you wake up, and you see the the effort that gets put in, by the players. And you know, before practice after practice, you know, a certain mindset, and you see the difference between, you know, the real top level, you know, ones versus, you know, not so much, but it is about, you know, there's a mindset pace, there's a God given talent pace, you know, if that's what you want to talk about, and then there's this commitment to the craft, that they put in the hours, you know, behind the doors in a state actor, shooting, you know, working on technique, all of these things, you know, really, and if you're talking about basketball, you know, there's only suddenly so many seven footers out there, that have got that, you know, God given talent, a lot of them are six foot, whatever, and they work really hard to get to that line.

In this material world we live in, where we market to from the moment, we conform thought, how you make sure your children believe in the value of hard work, as well as having a clear vision of the future. So I'll throw that one back to you. Yeah, well, this is one where, you know, I guess I'm gonna have to find that balance of like, not being the super annoying, you know, like, like, self help guru dad, and, you know, just a good mix of, you know, leading by example, right, like, I really do believe in, you know, be the change that you want to see in the world.

Because, you know, the one thing actually, that'll that'll take from the secret that was that was completely right. And again, it was it was Lisa Nichols.

Who kind of said it, but you know, focus, if you focus on joy, you choose to live in possibility, right? And when she said that, it kind of really clicked for me, right? So how do I make sure my kids under like, realize the value of hard work and kind of realize that, you know, they're gonna get what they put into this world is largely showing them but just conversation, dialogue, you know, what I mean? Like, they shape their vision of the world, from what they see from us and what we do. So I'm just not going to shy away from the conversations, you know, I'm not there yet. Your son's a little older than my daughter is. So I know kids say the darndest things. And I'm in for it very soon, where, you know, what did you just say? And you know, I'm gonna have to do my best to answer but I just don't think there's, you know, apart from Santa Claus, you can believe in Santa Claus for a while. But, you know, apart from that, I don't think there's a reason to mislead, right, this world's hard enough, I want to be as honest and clear as I can with them, I want them to know, the struggles that I faced, you know, I want them to know my story, I want them to know that, you know, like, they may not have the gene, they may, but you know, the I just want alcoholism that is but you know, I just want them to have the information and to do what they want with the information. I don't want to control their lives. But I won't, I do want to kind of try to curate the information they have access to. And not just mine pollutants and having the TV on all the time. Right. Like, that's why I will be reading and like in front of them my entire life to hope they adopt the habit. And I went on for a bit as I tend to do Luke, I apologize. But you know, that that's, that's kind of it right, it's largely just be the change you want to see in the world. Because there's another part from the secret that I that I did really like was the part where that lady was fighting with her husband. And, you know, she was like, upset at all the things that he was doing. And then the author, her name is escaping me. But she said, What would happen if you spent a month writing down all of the things that you enjoyed about your partner, right? So instead of trying to change them, start getting back to what you enjoy about them work on you. Right? So the question is always, what can you do to improve your life situation? Okay, what is what is the anyways, there you go? Well, I will throw this one out to you then. So do you believe that whatever is going on in your mind, you're attracting to you so this was mentioned by in the show and Bob Proctor mentions this? How does that statement sit with you? So you're kind of touching on events? So I'd be interested to go a little bit deeper. So do you believe that whatever is going on in your mind, you're attracting to you to a degree to a degree, Yes, I do.

But I need to kind of add context here, right, because when i when i when i go back in life and really get granular you know, maybe try to look at a journal or two, even though I was sporadic through most of my life with journals, but you know, and look at like, okay, when I was producing results, and getting the most out of life and being the version of myself I most enjoyed, you know, what was my thinking like, right, like what was I thinking about? Right like...

What was I kind of bringing to mind? Often, you know, and I was what when things were not working out and I was spiraling out of control. I was thinking bad things, right? Like I was obsessing about what I didn't want. I didn't understand any of this. Right? So thinking about things that you want in your life, yes, I do believe that that's a necessary prerequisite to going after them. Because it starts the plan plants, the idea activates the reticular activating system, right? So like, when you understand the science of why affirmations and manifestation, and you know, some of this positive psychology work, then it's not as like, you know, fluffy, if you will, right. So I don't think that every thought you ever have because, again, simply not possible, right? Otherwise, all of us would, you know, turn it on and have everything we ever wanted. And we'd run out of space on this earth, because everybody would have a 5000 square foot mansion, right? However, obsession, thinking about it again, and again and again, led me to a very dark place, right? Because I thought about what I didn't want, I thought about I need to stop this, I need to stop drinking, I know I need to stop drinking, this is super unhealthy, I must stop drinking, this is bad. Like, my kidneys are gonna fail, dah, dah, dah, dah, wasn't enough to stop, right? Just thinking about what I didn't want. It didn't change anything, right? Until I literally hit rock bottom for the last time. So you know, and then that's when my thinking started to go in a different direction. And again, I come back to this over and over again. But it was embracing curiosity, man without embracing curiosity, I do not have this turnaround in my life, right without starting to ask questions again, right, without starting to ask myself questions like, do you think you could be a father one day? Not right now. But do you think it's worth trying to become a human being that would be worthy of being a father one day, so that makes sense. So that was the shift in us. So you've gone, you've gone all the way down to the bottom. And at the very bottom, you've kind of you've said to yourself something along the lines of you know, this is, you know, no longer may not another day, week, month, our drop, I suppose. And then on the back of that you started to reflect and think of what your life could be, because I suppose at the end of the day, everything is born from dreams, right? So at that point in time, your dreams started to be around family and father and and just a different version of you. And and it took off from there, I suppose. Is that and not not all at once, right. Like there's a lot to learn. And I think that's the thesis behind this topic today. Right, is that planting a seed is good, right? thinking positive, you know, is good, right? getting clear on what you want is good. But then what? Right, like going through your day to day every day and having a vision board up? I don't think it's enough, right? Like actions still have to be taken. And it wasn't until I really started taking deliberate action. Yes, that I saw a change. Because I think well, whether it was in the last episode, or whether it was just a conversation we had, I realized a few years back, I was obsessed with just reading and because I heard the stat of the CEOs read 52 books a year, and I got obsessed with just reading and reading, reading. Wasn't applying enough of what I was reading, I was really like I was just absorbing information. And it wasn't till I made the commitment where I was gonna just apply, like, don't try everything that I was reading, really get on top of my thinking really become the gatekeeper of my thoughts. Again, there's a quote I love, just don't say dumb shit out loud. Instead of just trying to be super positive. Just don't say negative stuff, right? Like just don't, don't be don't partake in that, right? Don't complain. And again, not perfect work in progress. I asked myself these questions all the time. But that's just it. Right? I come back to it. I never let these things that I've identified as if I do these regularly. My life is good. Yeah. And, and you have clarity, right? Like, it's it's not about, you know, saying I'm never going to have a negative moment in my life or thought or whatever it might be. It is understanding that those exists. And it's understanding what they're there for. And, you know, I nearly made mention this before, but I kind of got stuck onto something else. But it's, you know, what is that lesson that you're being offered right now? You know, what is that opportunity? What is that lesson that's happening right now? What can I take away from this? That helps me kind of move forward? Because I think that's, that's that shift that you were discussing earlier? As well as, okay, yes, I'm negative or Yes, there's, there's some challenges that are going on in life, which I cannot do anything about. But what can I take away from that? Because I know that this is not going to last forever. I know that, you know, I'm going to now get back into the mindset that I want.

Around achieving the life that I'm seeking. But what is that valuable lesson that I've got in front of me right now that if I embrace it and take it from what it is, then I can move forward. And ideally, what happens then, is that you don't carry the weight of that episode with you, you know, you kind of can just go, okay, it is what it is, I'll leave it here. And that's, that's the end of it, isolate it, learn and move on. Yeah, I think that's the real key during some of these. And we're getting towards the end here. So I don't want to, you know, keep dragging on because we could keep dragging on and on. But that you that point, and it's funny how this happens, look at that point made me think of something else. But there was something and who said it in the book, I can't remember now I just kind of wrote it down. And this I agree with 100%. Right. So there is, again, there is value in this book, there's immense value in this book, but will literally go into it with the pretense of I'm gonna have to take massive action to get the value out of this book or this movie, right. So you know, just know that it's, it's on its own, it's leaving out some things, right. But the point where body the body's disease, or the the anxiety or the sickness, or whatever it might be, is a indicator to you that something is off and something needs to shift, right? I do very much believe that like anxiety, or chronic disease, or whatever it might be is like, literally, your body is communicating with you. Right. So if instead of just kind of staying in that space, and perpetuating the negativity, or perpetuating the chronic disease, or whatever it might be, if you could program yourself to ask a question instead, in that moment, what is my body telling me with this sickness with this anxiety with, you know, whatever this negative state might be? What is the message? What do I need to change to create a different result? If you could create that habit? Oh, my goodness, you would not remain in anxiety for as long you would use that tool alone would get you out of it a lot faster. Yeah, yeah. Look, I've I've certainly had some challenges with anxiety before. And, you know, part of the challenge is to kind of get out of that, that headspace. You know, how do you get out of that spiral, or that black fog or whatever you want to call it that's hanging over the top of you? And I don't think just sitting there and thinking and thinking and thinking actually gets you out of it? You know, you still need to go through the process. But you know that that's a longer one. That's definitely for another episode. No, it is. And Luke, you're right. Because my best thinking my best thinking just kept me drinking. Right. So thinking alone? No, like, I'm Case in point and proof that it's not enough. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well, you know, I think I think we're kind of at the point where we can where we can bring this one to the close. So I just would say this, and maybe throw this one out there. If you can bring us home. The Secret was a powerful statement on the universe and the laws of attraction. Give us a few thoughts you would like the listeners to take take away with them possibly, you know, a secret that isn't necessarily a secret, but you know, uh huh. Well, I think that, you know, I would just like to, you know, just the one thing I would like everybody to take away from the secret is that there is a positive message. I know, I just mentioned that. But yes, do you try to be the gatekeeper of your thoughts, right? Do try to observe if you're letting too much negative thought into your mind, right? Like, accept that there is an inner dialogue, except that there is an inner voice or your awareness of your consciousness, observing everything, whatever you want to call it, but it's there, right? So acknowledge that if you don't make a choice to actually start becoming an active participant in that conversation, that you're allowing your default evolutionary mechanisms to run things, right, you are allowing your life to effectively be run by whatever is happening out in the world. Right. So the biggest thing that you know, that I agree with from the secret is that yes, like you do need to get clear on your vision, you do need to have an idea of what you want. But don't leave it a limited picture, right? Think about the finish line. Think about the questions you will ask yourself, it's not as scary as you think. Just ask yourself the questions, figure out what they are right? Like, my questions on my deathbed will be that I embrace curiosity, right? Did I love? And did I make the world for the people around me better? Right? Like, did I make the world better for having been here? So I know that those are the questions I'm going to ask myself at the end. So now that I know those questions, I can ask myself those questions every day to check myself right. And every once in a while, it might be a good exercise to look and say, Do those questions still apply? Or has my definition of success changed? Right, but the point that I'm getting.

At it's an indicator of high high performers and high achievers share this trait is they get crystal clear on what that means to them. Right? They know what the finish line should look like, roughly right? And they check back in often to see, am I still shooting at the same target? Or have my priorities changed as my life situation changed? Right? Because, again, there's a quote, I think it's dead cells. I'm not sure but if you see the world, this if a man sees the world the same way at 40 that he did at 20, he just wasted 20 years of his life.

It's so true. It is it is so very, very, very true. Well, and one other thing I had down here the power is all yours that was actually written in the book was one of the quotes and I thought, you know, that is true, the powers are yours, but you know, thank you, everyone for for listening to episode number two. We'll be back for episode number three in a few weeks. But if you enjoyed it, you know, like, subscribe share on YouTube or Spotify or head to our websites as well, but we'll see in a few weeks for Episode Three, be safe, be present, be you and and do everything you can find that fulfillment.

Absolutely. Awesome now, bye for now.