Can you life coach yourself?
Can you life coach yourself? That is the question
There is a long held belief and myth that it's easy to make changes in your life and if you want it badly enough, you can 100% life coach yourself.
That’s an interesting concept so let’s explore it further. Assuming that:
It's easy to make change in our lives.
We are the best people to create change in our lives.
We know ourselves in the best way… in every way.
We always give our all, to what matters most.
Then people could 100% life coach themselves!
But what is fiction and what is reality? Let's unpack this.
In reality…
Good intentions don’t make the best strategies
Research says that by the time we get to our mid 20s, about 60-70% of what we do is made up of our habits.
So if you are like the vast majority of people that have such ingrained habits locked into place (for the moment) it’s going to be a tough task to reform the strategy of your life thus far and recreate the right behaviours to be the best version of you.
After all, you created them in the 1st place, like them or not.
It will be no surprise to you that creating an exceptional life is not as easy as putting on your tracksuit pants and hitting the gym 3 times a week for an hour each time. Your life is every little piece of it, where you go, what you do, what you think… so best understand the challenges with doing it all yourself.
Never forget, you don’t always have your best interest at heart, certainly when the view is cloudy. John Wooden says it best “A good coach can change a game, a great coach can change a life.”
So, can you life coach yourself?
YES: 3 reasons why you could life coach yourself
Let me give you 3 reasons why YES, you potentially could life coach yourself (maybe).
You have more quality resources available to you than ever before
There is so much free or really cheap information or courses out there, publicly available these days, all at your fingertips. It’s true. But books and podcasts don’t ask multiple questions of you to dig deeper and find the roots of your troubles, dreams and aspirations.
You know yourself better than anyone
What do they say “everywhere you go… there you are”, so the truth is you have been there every step of the way, real ones and imagined ones :)
You know what’s best for you and you're pretty smart…
So why couldn’t you sort yourself out? How hard could it be? Anyone can be a life coach anyway, right?
All very true points indeed but your brain power and skill in a job, or IQ, is not in question here. It’s your realisation on why you do the things you do and how to change your behaviour that we question. Yes, the barrier to entry for coaches may not be such as difficult task but just like with anything in life, there are those that can make change and those that only dream of change.
These are 3 really great points and commonly made in the first few minutes of discovery calls I have with potential clients. Those that are on the edge of becoming game changers. And with most things, it certainly has an element of truth to it.
NO: 5 reasons why you can’t life coach yourself
Here are 5 reasons why NO, you absolutely can NOT life coach yourself!
You most likely will not focus on the right things, at the right time
Information has never made anyone special, amazing, rich, famous or elite. It is the putting into action that matters most. It’s the ability to keep going forward during tough times. A great life coach will help with accountability during difficult times and will know when to give you what information to get the desired outcomes.
You are your own worst enemy
For sure, you know you better than anyone but you also know better than anyone how to cover up your mistakes, talk yourself out of doing what you need to, giving into your urges to give up and importantly because you know yourself so well, you know the questions that you don’t want to ask or answer. A skilled life coach will ensure all those little ways out that only you know about will not be missed. An experienced life coach will ensure you answer those very questions that will make a difference.
You can’t be good at everything
It’s true, anyone can indeed do a short course on life coaching and then say “Hey I’m a Life Coach” but just because I own a basketball and some cool kicks, it doesn’t make me the second coming of Lebron or MJ. A life coach worth paying for won’t just be a theorist either, not just someone that has read some books and regurgitate words they learned by heart. The coach worth paying for has amazing knowledge from all kinds of literature, but goes to the next level with real world experience.
You will want to give up
If right now you have some level of fear and doubt in your ability, low self-esteem or low confidence, then don’t fool yourself thinking that just because you might be motivated now and have finally said “I’m sick of this, I need to make change.” that when the pressure mounts and difficult times come along, that you will be able to navigate all those challenges and stick with your plan.
Your brain is really stubborn
Speaking of a plan, the last reason why you can’t just life coach yourself. The best Life Coaches will have a tried and true plan that works for us - sometimes difficult, stubborn and primitive humans. Understanding how we are wired, why we do the things we do and understand how to get your 2 million year old brain to really dial into change. This is complex work and the best coaches know which wiring to tap into to make the biggest changes.
TO BECOME WHO YOU ASPIRE TO BE, YOU NEED A PLAN
Save yourself the time, the headspace, the doubts… in 6 days, you’ll know whether a life coach can help you achieve that or not. Either way, that’s progress.
Why life coaching yourself is not realistic
To help illustrate this, I’ll use myself as the coach’s example and why me, coaching you, could give you insight beyond what you could achieve alone, using the strategy you now have.
Over 20 years coaching hundreds of people in numerous industries to be the best version of themselves and achieve amazing goals and business results, I have gained remarkable insight into what drives people and what holds them back.
So when experts talk about the fact that it takes 10,000 hours to be an expert in something. I have that covered and then some.
Just imagine:
How many conversations about making improvement I have had,
How many development meetings I have sat in,
How many “we need to shift your mindset from “Can’t” to “Can”
COUNTLESS!
One of the most famous coaches on the planet, Tony Robbins, has been working on his craft for over 40 years, charges $1,000,000 per session and has a 18 month waiting list. He works with CEOs, athletes, all kinds of high achievers and they work with a coach because they know outside help is essential to change.
“The distance between your reality and dreams is called ACTIONS.” - Luke Fenwick
What about elite athletes?
During my time at Melbourne United the Basketball Club, I often listened in on what made the best athletes incredible. I also observed how the coaches instilled the right habits to win championships. What the leaders on the court needed to do in crunch time to win championships.
Speaking on powerful habits. Do you know how they form?
I do! And I understand how to ensure you keep coming back to do them time and time again.
So if you stuck around until this bit of the article, you might now understand that no, you most likely can’t life coach yourself. At least, not to the level you would want but the real question here is, do you need a coach?
Do you need a life coach?
Are you waking up most mornings saying,
“It’s time to stop sweeping [insert your issues] under the carpet and hiding from the truth… praying that everything will just sort itself out.”
That was what a client texted me not that long ago, then she took action to stop hiding and made change a priority.
All it takes initially, is for you to know what to do next. And ACT on it.
What action looks like -> pick one, any of them but act!
Enrol into this FREE mini course
It has been designed to help you STOP wasting your time wondering what’s possible, get unstuck and move forward, once it for all. It is not a life coach sales pitch. It is a guide that will help you make (or not) one of the most important decisions of your life.
>>> more about the Life Coach Ready courseBook your 30min free no-obligation exploratory chat over Zoom
This initial video call is relaxed, it is for answering as many questions as you might have about how we can work together and focuses on providing you with an understanding about the techniques and strategies that will be used to help you. No pushy sales pitch, just more clarity for you about the methodology I use with my clients.
>>> commit to change and ask questions | book hereJUMP RIGHT INTO IT
If you’re at the stage where you know you want to make change and you’re committed to making it work, go straight to my coaching programs page and choose either the 21-day (Lightning), 50-day (Change) or 90-day (Power) program.
>>> send me an email to get started
OR…
if you are determined (after all this) to life coach yourself, do so but accept the risk of maybe never getting to the results you wish for.
Good luck, you’re gonna need it.